BY MELINA MELETAKOS
What’s wrong? Your voice sounds sad. Is it because the person you decided to let into your home and sleep with just came very quickly into a cheap, ill-fitting piece of plastic, and is now making videos of himself as some kind of sleazy, pseudo-intellectual love doctor character?
I feel physically ill. I’m disgusted with myself. That person in the video doesn’t even look like me. It doesn’t look like me, right? I can’t believe I was just able to slip into that character with such ease. Maybe I am actually like that. I feel so sick.
You certainly have a mane of hair. I wonder what it would look like on a man. It would be too much, wouldn’t it? I want to wrap your hair around my dick while I fuck you. You know, that was actually a line in one of my movies. I have a bit of a hair fetish. Come closer, I want to see your hairline.
Are you going to tell people about this when I am famous? Please, don’t. You know, that’s one of my biggest fears. I’m scared that all the irresponsible things I’ve done are going to haunt me when I’m famous.
What do you think of this character? Do you think if I posted a video as him online people would be offended? Because I would want him to come across as more simple-minded than mentally retarded. What do you think? I really think he could teach the world a lot about love.
Is it lonely living here and not being able to speak the language? I love loneliness.
Do you have custard? I want something sweet. Won’t you go get me something from the convenience store?
What? Why are you looking at me like that? You think you can be a creative genius and remain sane? How am I supposed to be a maverick, the voice of a generation?
What did you think of that character?
Looking at myself in those videos really made me sick. I have awful teeth; I should get them capped. And my face is asymmetrical. I need facial reconstructive surgery.
I want custard. Can you get me some? Come on, please?